A peek into my world...

[clintswan]

You might work in an ER if...

you have the bladder capacity of 5 people
you encourage an obnoxious patient to sign out AMA so you don't have to deal with them any longer
you threaten to strangle anyone you even starts to say the "Q" word when the ER is remotely slow
you believe that 90% of people are poor excuses for protoplasm
you believe that "shallow gene pool" should be a recognized diagnosis
you take it as a compliment when someone calls you a dirty name
you have ever referred to someone's death as a transfer to the eternal care unit
you refer to someone in severe respiratory distress as a "smurf"
you have ever had to leave a patient's room before you begin to laugh uncontrollably
you have ever referred to the ER Doc or triage nurse as a "shit magnet"
you have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience
you refer to vegetables and are not talking about a food group
your idea of comforting a child includes placing them in a papoose restraint
your idea of a good time is a full arrest at shift change
you find humor in other people's stupidity
you believe the waiting room should be equipped with a valium fountain
you ever had a patient say..."but, I'm not pregnant; I can't be pregnant; how can i be having a baby?"
You believe that the waiting room time should be proportional to length of time from symptom onset..."you have had the pain for 3 days?...well wait out here and we will get to you in 3 days...."
you believe a "supreme being consult" is your patient's only hope
you have thought OD instead of BBQ when asked to get the charcoal
you get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf your food even in the nicest restaurants
your feet are flatter and slightly tougher than Fred Flintstone's
your immune system is so well developed that it has been known to attack squirrels in the backyard
you can identify the "P.I.D. shuffle" at a distance of 15 feet and the "Kidney stone Squirm" at 20
You've ever had a patient with a nose-ring tell you "I'm afraid of shots"
you stare at someone in utter disbelief when they actually cover their mouth when they cough
you don't have to ask "frequent flyers" any medical history because you can fill it out from memory yourself
you can identify the positive teeth to tattoo ratio
you believe that the government should require a permit to reproduce

Comments

Maybe you should call it...

[nimbuscub.livejournal.com]

Working in the ER or Labor and Delivery. ;-)

A lot of those things sound like things my mom has said. Especially...

you have ever had to leave a patient's room before you begin to laugh uncontrollably
you have the bladder capacity of 5 people
you believe that "shallow gene pool" should be a recognized diagnosis
you take it as a compliment when someone calls you a dirty name

Re: Maybe you should call it...

[clintswan.livejournal.com]

thye are so true!

Such-a-nice Boy! To share his world with us..

[brinah.livejournal.com]

To think this all could have been my world...had I been a little more careful with that Sulfuric Acid. (http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?journal=auntbrian&itemid=71577&thread=267929) :-)

My personal favorite:
your immune system is so well developed that it has been known to attack squirrels in the backyard This could explain the lack of squirrels in Dallas.

Re: Such-a-nice Boy! To share his world with us..

[clintswan.livejournal.com]

*heh*

"but, I'm not pregnant; I can't be pregnant; how can i be having a baby?"

[henare.livejournal.com]

but i can't be pregnant! butt babies never live!

Re: "but, I'm not pregnant; I can't be pregnant; how can i be having a baby?"

[clintswan.livejournal.com]

LOL They don't??

Re: "but, I'm not pregnant; I can't be pregnant; how can i be having a baby?"

[shadcub.livejournal.com]

No never, but its still fun to try

Re: "but, I'm not pregnant; I can't be pregnant; how can i be having a baby?"

[henare.livejournal.com]

how many children do you have? >G

[lfkbear.livejournal.com]

While all of this is humorous and interesting, I've gotta say that, while I say recently sick, I had an emergency room experience so horrendous (and I later learned was so dangerous to my health) that I've petitioned my insurance company to not pay the $4000 in trumped up charges the hospital created... just to let me lay in excrutiating pain for 10 and a half hours and then send me home, STILL in pain with a motrin and a cup of sugar-water (even though I told them that I'm DIABETIC)

I've also gotten a producer-friend at "20/20" to plant a reporter in their ward within the next month or so to see if I was there on a bad night or if shoddy treatment is the norm at this hospital.

Today's lesson... never cross a bear with connections.

[clintswan.livejournal.com]

With all due respect, sometimes it is hard for layperson to understand how an ER functions. Especially because no two days/hours/minutes are the same. Juggling alot of balls and keeping them in air all at the same time. I do know that nursing staff shortages are at very dangerous levels right now. I don't know what happened to you that visit, BUT I do know that quite alot of people don't give a shit about anyone else and think THEY are the sickest/most important. I certainly am not saying that you did that, however, take it with a grain of salt that the staff have all those reasons listed above running in their heads. It gets more difficult day by day to believe people of what they say as more and more people are using the ER as primary care and still think that it is Burger King that they can "Have it their way" AKA

Like I heard a MILLION of times....."HOw long is this going to take? I have to be at work/date/sleep/aunt's house in an hour....."

*VERY BIG FRUSTRATED SIGH*

[lfkbear.livejournal.com]

I didn't walk into the hospital, asking to be in and out in 10 minutes. But I don't it's reasonable to wait 3 hours to be seen by a doctor who's first question isn't "why are you writhing in pain?" but "can you tell me more about your insurance," when he has the five-page form I filled out in his hand... only so that he can disappear for an hour again.

I understand your frustration. And I agree with your issues. But there's no excuse for crap treatment. Period. If one can't hack the pace, then they should get a new job. That's what they tell me here. And that should apply to everyone.

[clintswan.livejournal.com]

If one can't hack the pace, then they should get a new job ;there's no excuse for crap treatment

Agreed, yet there is a problem there...

That is excately what is going on in healthcare - nurses and doctors are leaving in droves because of bad treatment by patients and malpractice problems....hence the shortage which makes the problem worse.

Because of HMOs and even medicaid, times are up in the waiting rooms because by law they have to pay for ER visits but will reject primary care visits for various reasons.

limited staff + limited space + non-emergenct patients = long wait time.

In my ER the wait has gone to 8 hours and I can GUAR-DAMN-TEE it was not because of crappy care.

AND non-emergent and emergent patients tend to present to triage the same.....they just have to take the sickest/less stable first....adn THAT is a medical triage desision that EVERYONE thinks they can do better than what happen - fact of life...

The ER is the LAST place you want to be FIRST.

[lfkbear.livejournal.com]

I think there are areas on this topic where we're going to agree and sharply disagree. Now, remember, I'm not saying that YOU provide poor care. I'm sure you do your job well and to the best of your abilities, given any limitations that might arise. But I also kinda resent the notion that every patient who walks into an ER is unreasonable or tempermental. Most people in that situation are usually functioning from a point of fear and pain... and they're not thinking (nor do I personally think should they have to in that circumstance) be thinking, "I wonder if this doctor is burnt-out today from other idiots."

And I stand by my previous point, if a person in any job (particularly one that involves life and death situations) is at the point where they can't hack the pressure, they should reconsider what they're doing.

[hylandr.livejournal.com]

you believe that 90% of people are poor excuses for protoplasm

You'd up that percentage if you ever worked in tech support.

[bearhug111.livejournal.com]

Ain't that the truth!

[greggmmc.livejournal.com]

we need to get together again for a beer to expand the list.

[fenwalker.livejournal.com]

Q Word? What is the Q word?

[clintswan.livejournal.com]

QUIET

never say that

i will strangle you

[oakleycub.livejournal.com]

Between 2 aunts who are nurses(one in ICU, the other in research these days,) being a hospital volunteer in high school, and working for a Medicaid MCO I am entirely too familiar with that list. You scare me. Badly.

Excuse me while I go send that to the nurses om the office.

[beardoc.livejournal.com]

It's scary because it's true. I am becoming those.

But I'm still trying my best to clue people in on what's going on, and patients do like that.