A peek into my world...

[clintswan]

You might work in an ER if...

you have the bladder capacity of 5 people
you encourage an obnoxious patient to sign out AMA so you don't have to deal with them any longer
you threaten to strangle anyone you even starts to say the "Q" word when the ER is remotely slow
you believe that 90% of people are poor excuses for protoplasm
you believe that "shallow gene pool" should be a recognized diagnosis
you take it as a compliment when someone calls you a dirty name
you have ever referred to someone's death as a transfer to the eternal care unit
you refer to someone in severe respiratory distress as a "smurf"
you have ever had to leave a patient's room before you begin to laugh uncontrollably
you have ever referred to the ER Doc or triage nurse as a "shit magnet"
you have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience
you refer to vegetables and are not talking about a food group
your idea of comforting a child includes placing them in a papoose restraint
your idea of a good time is a full arrest at shift change
you find humor in other people's stupidity
you believe the waiting room should be equipped with a valium fountain
you ever had a patient say..."but, I'm not pregnant; I can't be pregnant; how can i be having a baby?"
You believe that the waiting room time should be proportional to length of time from symptom onset..."you have had the pain for 3 days?...well wait out here and we will get to you in 3 days...."
you believe a "supreme being consult" is your patient's only hope
you have thought OD instead of BBQ when asked to get the charcoal
you get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf your food even in the nicest restaurants
your feet are flatter and slightly tougher than Fred Flintstone's
your immune system is so well developed that it has been known to attack squirrels in the backyard
you can identify the "P.I.D. shuffle" at a distance of 15 feet and the "Kidney stone Squirm" at 20
You've ever had a patient with a nose-ring tell you "I'm afraid of shots"
you stare at someone in utter disbelief when they actually cover their mouth when they cough
you don't have to ask "frequent flyers" any medical history because you can fill it out from memory yourself
you can identify the positive teeth to tattoo ratio
you believe that the government should require a permit to reproduce

Comments

[oakleycub.livejournal.com]

Between 2 aunts who are nurses(one in ICU, the other in research these days,) being a hospital volunteer in high school, and working for a Medicaid MCO I am entirely too familiar with that list. You scare me. Badly.

Excuse me while I go send that to the nurses om the office.